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My First NYFW Presentation

By Jamie Haller

For the last few weeks I have been in the black hole of my first NYFW presentation. Coupled with market week and the CFDA, it has been A LOT. Firstly, it WAS amazing, completely satisfying. I feel very proud, very happy and very complete with how it all played out. I had a vision for it, it was a lot of very hard work and attention. I had to engage a lot of help to really make it happen, but what it became was it's own magical thing.

I wanted it to feel warm, collective, accepting, fun, chic, inspired, but relaxed. I wanted the models to talk to the guests, and the guests to sit next to the models. I wanted it to feel like the cool club of women we are, but the kind of club you are invited to be a part of. I didn't want it to feel exclusive or out of reach. I wanted it to feel like the best party where you have a ton of friends excited to see you, like one of those nights where you are so grateful to be surrounded by those people you love.

It was that luxury of being together.

There was this concept of Duality I wanted to explore, contrast moments of groups of women together and women traveling between group locations alone. I guess I was feeling this idea that as women, we have this duality, who we are when we are alone and how is that different than who we are within our groups. 

What are these moments that define Luxury. Is it just the thing, the bag, or the clothes. Where is the line. When we talk about luxury, many times now we say things like "Time is the true luxury"

That's now so true!
But also - I find, as a women, being alone is a true luxury. Also being with my friends, a luxury I rarely get to partake in. Being alone with my friends, that never happens.. or very rarely.

Feeling strong and showing up as myself, my true me, not my fashion designer me, or my mom self me, but some version of "me"
that has always been the same.

This idea that some thing change and some things don't.
Knowing myself, that is a luxury too.

I like that this idea that Luxury, in my life, is being yourself.

And so I wanted to create a conversation "visually" about this,  a visual identity between feeling pulled together, to run my business, to present to groups, and feeling classic and casual enough to feel like me in my life. I want to feel artful, inspired, forward and relevant.

I wanted the room to look like me, the me that is 48. I wanted to celebrate my community, my face, my age, my truth, my memories, my nostalgia, all these parts of me.


Visually, if we are talking about clothes, I wanted it to resonate with bounce and tonality, color as the focus. Loved pieces, rich in depth. Silhouettes that set you apart but feel familiar. Comfort but in luxurious materials that feel elevated and beautiful against the skin.

Pieces of their own gravity.

I described it to people as that moment in Mary Poppins where the chimney man jumps into his painting, that is how it felt. That's a silly, older reference, I know. But it's true. That's what my brain picked to connect it to. It was like I jumped into my own painting. I am familiar with these designs, these colors, these ideas. I created them. I know them intimately. They extend from me without really having a disconnect. However what I didn't expect was that it would feel surreal. Usually I see things flat in images, on one model. To have 14 models circling me for hours, to have versions of myself in these women that feel like my friends, these models, all around me in my ideas, to be the center of attention for so long, it feels like a carousel, of painted color, I made that I am in. Color I knew but I didn't expect it to feel so bright and swirly.

It filled me.


I stayed in NYC for 5 days after the presentation. My family came to NYC, we did family things, climbed rocks in central park, went to a Broadway show, dinners, I took them places I like to go when I'm here. We bought Swedish candy and visited friends in Brooklyn. It was good.


They left and I stayed for another few days because of CFDA commitments, I am in the CFDA Fashion Fund, a contest for emerging designers. It's an amazing opportunity and there are commitments, a Bloomingdales party. So I stayed.


I didn't feel the come down until I got off the plane in LA. Then I kind of emotionally collapsed. Really I went vacant, so tired, so bleh. It only lasted a day, but I cried a lot more than normal. Really because I was just tired and I think my adrenaline was going for about 1 month straight in preparation, then into overdrive for 2 weeks. And then it finally all stopped.

And so after, I was vacant, teary eyed and ahead of me is a mountain of work I couldn't do while I was in that black hole.


So while in my NYFW black hole, my riding high, I said I would revisit the behind the scenes feelings with everyone, but then I found out it was kind of hard to share it, or go back.. It was all amazing, rich, rewarding, full! But how do you describe it.

Another interesting thing, is exactly how high I felt, you can equally feel low, or at least feel deeply stuck in social comparison mode. Deeply trapped on my phone, on IG. Seeing what everyone is doing, saying, seeing. It's a visual feast NYFW and even more consuming when you are in the middle of it. It's easier to not be trapped by it when you are not there, in LA!

You start to feel like you aren't getting enough attention when really it's already so full it's bursting. It's not a good feeling. I'm bursting with gratitude and I'm imploding in comparison mind. It's a hard place to be, actually.


And that isn't the kind of thing you share. But it's true. And I've already dedicated myself that here in this space of sharing with you, I am opting to be real versus the more perfect version of what this all is.


Will I do it again? YES, Likely, I hope so, Maybe, Not sure. Of Course. It was the time of life! What fashion girl dreams are made of. Everything I ever wanted. But there are always multiple versions of self in those moments and it seemed like part of it.


The Duality.


These are the Show Notes. We passed them out the day of the show. It's the short form perspective of this long form email. Same idea. You'll notice the playlist Gwynne from my team made for the show. It's an amazing playlist. We've all been obsessed.

Enjoy.
xx Jamie